Stats

ONLY 1.5% OF BRITAIN'S POPULATION ACTUALLY GAY
Morgan holds up the paper, annoyed.
'Well that's my chances fucked, then.' he murmurs.
The slightly old, very squeaky door slams. DeWitt bounces in.
'Hi,' he says, throwing his bag down on the floor.
'I'm not talking to you.'
'Is that so.'
They stand, back to back, for several minutes of silence. Morgan begins whistling a Fleetwood Mac b-side to himself.
'Is this because of Come Dine With Me?'
'I'm NOT TALKING!'
He slams the door.

So that makes three. Devlin is still feeling self-righteous after the 'patisserie incident' a few weeks ago, as well as Morgan's general attitude of disrespect towards pastry. DeWitt's surprise upcoming stint on the nation's favourite dinner-party gameshow has got everyone pissed off, especially as the camera crew descends this weekend. And Esther, their third flatmate? She's, as always, nowhere to be found.
Morgan works part-time in an organic concept cafe after losing his job last February to a cartel of ruthless, serial temping addicts. The cafe is called 'Basha', which were the first four scrabble letters picked out of a hat by the white, Eton-educated owners when they decided what to pour their trust funds into. It's in the middle of Soho, frequented by the 'media types' he sort-of came down to London to join the ranks of. The squabbling classes. The net-a-porter classes. What once were known, a very long time ago, as the foccacia classes.

He throws around clothes like confetti. For some reason it seems there's only a multi-coloured jumpsuit, a too-short, stinky t-shirt and a pair of jeans with a rip in the crotch. There is nothing, even though there are so many clothes hanging up- nothing, nothing to wear. And in this cafe, even the staff wear Balenciaga (under their vintage denim jackets and scarves).
He throws a t-shirt over a shirt, sniffs the armpits (just about OK), styles with the same jeans as yesterday and walks out the door and bumps into the celebrity vicar.
'I'm late.' he says, running towards the bus.
'Morgan! Morgan!'
Morgan leaps on the number 2 and laughing, sees the celebrity vicar recede into the distance. Before realising he has only one shoe.

A bus journey deciding whether or not to walk barefoot (fashion has dicated Morgan isn't wearing socks this season) or hop to work is not a fun one.